Go Ask Alice--Blog 5

We have finally finished the book. I began the novel confused about the narrator. Why does she act the way she does? Why is she so wishy-washy? Well, now that we have finished, I still have not answered the questions I had in the beginning, and I also have new ones. Throughout the novel, the narrator always second-guessed her decisions and contradicted herself. I think that is the point of the novel. I think it is trying to show what some people who use drugs go through, and what battles they have with themselves. Also, having drugs in your life messes a lot of things up and although it may feel great at times, as the novel displayed, the end outcome is not so great. We end the novel with the narrator ending her second diary, saying that she didn't need it anymore and she was now strong enough to fight anything. The last page is a short epilogue saying that the narrator died a few weeks after the last entry. There is still no clear answer as to how the narrator died or whether drugs were involved, we don't even know whether this is really a true story. Either way, this novel is meant to show kids how once you start using drugs, even during the good "highs," you're never going to gain anything really positive from them. Life with drugs is confusing, and full of ups and downs, as is this novel just for that reason. While reading this novel, it was great to see the narrator declare she was done with drugs, but it was also dreadful to see her slipping into the influence of drugs once again. I felt really close to this character and seeing her make poor decisions was very hard. I really feel for this character, and I don't want to judge her for her decisions with using drugs. Sure, some of her drugs experiences were not necessarily entirely her fault but she had some say in all of her actions, which is sad to admit. I know bad things can happen to good people and this is what happened to the narrator. Her bad thing began without her knowledge, at the party where she first tried drugs. Ever since that night, the narrator's life was completely controlled by drugs. It's especially sad because she had no idea what was going to happen. She was completely blindsided by the drugs but she liked it. It's like being in a car accident that you never see coming and then liking the rush... It doesn't make sense to any of us, but some people may feel the same way, which allows them to understand why the narrator made the decisions she did. I'm sad that drugs had so much control over her life and possibly led to her death. Throughout the novel, the narrator never could beat the drugs. In some way or another, drugs were still affecting her life. I guess we'll just have to accept that drugs won in the end, although it wasn't what we wanted and I don't think what she wanted. I enjoyed reading this book and I have a more clear outlook on drugs. I also understand how people could be persuaded to using and reusing drugs, however after reading this novel, I don't understand why anyone would ever want to begin if they had the choice.